Against the flow

I think I should have been born a salmon. Truth be told, I have never been a very good "go with the flow" kind of girl. There have been various times in my life when I have tried, tried and tried harder. However, as I have gotten older, I have discovered that questioning things is my natural bent. Last week I had to take Owen to the doctor for a check up. This is the doctor Owen has been seeing for 10 years. When we got there, the lady spoke over me and handed Owen a 5 page form to fill out and said "Only you" fill out this form. Okay, that was a little odd. Then, we get to the doctor's office waiting room and she tells me I can wait in the hall during the appointment. Uh, excuse me? "Well, (she says - placing her hand on my arm)that is how we do it when they turn 12. They may have "private" matters they would like to discuss with "their" doctor that they wouldn't feel comfortable with a parent in the room." Yeah, right. That lady didn't know who she was talking to - my fight or flight response kicked in overtime! Let's just say I am sure I have a really big, really long note in my folder. It was so bad I think we are going to have to change doctors. You know, the crazy thing is, that doctor had the gall to praise my efforts. He went on and on about how flexible, how well spoken, how polite, what healthy habits he had but in the same breath tell me that I needed to "do it like everybody else." On the way home, it hit me like a ton of bricks - you CAN'T have it both ways. As a homeschooler, I realize I am already outside of the "norm". I don't look for ways to not fit in, really I don't. However, sometimes over somethings I just don't. I thought of this verse out of Philippians "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life - in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing." I (We) will never reach that goal of doing everything without complaining or arguing and I (we) will never be blameless and pure or without fault. However, it is my goal to help give my kids the tools they need to shine like stars in the universe as they hold out the word of life; whether I get nasty notes in my folder or not. I do want to be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.

Sweet Sixteen

I wonder why it is called "sweet sixteen?" In our case, it is fitting. Our sweet is sixteen. How does it happen? Where does the time go? I remember vividly sitting at our kitchen table in Boone, NC crying my eyeballs out that my mother was going to leave us with the sweet little girl I was certain to ruin. Ryan was 21, it was 11 days before my 21st birthday. We had no clue what we were doing. We didn't even know anyone in our zip code that was married, let alone that had kids. At first, our "friends" would come over to visit. However, after a while (and the fact that I would let very few of them hold her) they quit coming. It was quiet. It was Ryan, me and Emily against the world and the ASU campus! Looking back, I would not trade that time for anything. Until I met Emily, I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. I had no idea the blessings of motherhood. God knew what type of child we needed. I had spent the summer reading every article and book on child-rearing I could get my hands on. (I was an elementary ed major - I had access to A LOT of books!) I know this may be hard for some of you to believe, but I was an "over-the-top" textbook kind of mom. I think Emily was almost two before her schedule was broken (which did not fare well to the schedule breaker, sorry, mom). Emily spoiled us. She let us believe we were good parents. She slept through the night at 3 weeks (none of our other kids did this), she potty trained herself at 20 months, she was such a talker our sitter missed her when she was out sick "because she had no one to talk to", she taught herself to read and write at a very early age. I think it was our 4th year of homeschooling when she thanked me for "teaching her something new." The reality of it is God blessed her with such a sweet spirit, such an internal sense of right and wrong, such a sensitivity to those around her, with a heart to love others and Jesus like no one I have ever met. She would stump us (and still does on a regular basis) with some of the deepest theological questions there ever could be. I often worry that I am going to fail her somehow, she is so much better and smarter than I ever will be. However, I know that God allowing me to be her mother is one of the best gifts I could have ever received. I am in awe that He chose me. Happy Birthday, Emily!

Chores, chores and more chores

Solid Rock Academy is officially back in session. We started Tapestry (our literature, geography, history) last week but started everything else on Monday. A few years ago we started having an "open house." I know that seems crazy since they know what their "school" looks like and they know who their teacher will be. Whatever - it works for us. Anyway, we usually always go out to dinner and then come home and go over the "rules" and contracts. This summer has been very different than most. I don't exactly know why but different - it felt like it never even happened. Needless to say, it feels as though I am already weeks behind and we have only been in session 2 days. So, we go out to dinner - in separate cars because I needed a few more minutes to finish up their contracts. We have a list of undesired behaviors and each child comes up with their own consequence for what their punishment will be for breaking it. It is sort of a personalized "if then" chart. Then, Ryan and I go over their suggested punishment, tweak it as we see fit and then the next morning it is waiting on their desk for them to enter into our agreement. (Every year Owen trys to refuse to sign it!) We have really cracked down on the kids over not completing their chores. Sometimes we also have difficulty in completing school work as well. With the school work, sometimes it is their fault and sometimes it is my fault - I just couldn't get to them in time. So I was explaining to them that they would not recieve the said punishment for not completing their school work if it was my fault. Well, Monday morning comes and Ian takes a look at his chore chart and then takes a look at his school assignments for the day. He says (as earnestly as possible) "Mom, what happens if it is YOUR fault we don't get our chores done." I say, "Why would I stop you from doing your chores? To my knowledge, I have never stopped you from completing your chores." He picks his school list back up and waves it at me with one eyebrow slightly raised as if to say "this is going to take me YEARS!" It didn't, he got his work completed and his chores done and still had time to play outside but I don't think I will ever forget that look he gave me like "what in the world are you trying to do to me!" Brainpower, Ian, brainpower.

PDA

Tonight, on my 3rd trip to Wal-Mart (so much for having a list), I noticed this family while I was shopping. There was a mom, a dad, a little brother and a teenage girl. I noticed them because the girl was being loud and rude. Well, after about the 3rd pass, I noticed a young man had joined them. Obviously, the young man was the girl's significant other. She squealed when he approached like she had not seen him for at least 2 years. They continue to walk with the parents while holding hands. The girl got much quieter as she was wrapped up in a more private conversation. So, as I am waiting in line (you know, the 30 minutes it takes to check out at Wal-Mart) I see them in the candy aisle. Now there are no parents in sight and they are wrapped around one another in such a manner that it almost makes a person (even a happily married person) blush. I am standing there thinking "please get in line behind me." I had a few things I would have liked to have shared with them, of course they didn't. I am in the line with people's carts filled to the brim. They check out their candy in the self-checkout while continuing to make out. All of a sudden I wanted to go find that mother. I wanted to yell and scream! If they were behaving like that in a public place I can only imagine what goes on behind closed doors. While I was processing all of this, they skipped merrily on their way and out to the parking lot. So, I am making a proclamation: "If I EVER see ANY teenage person I know (boy or girl) engaged in such a Public Display of Affection it will not fare well and there will be a scene caused!" And I am putting it out there in blog-land that if ANYONE were to see a child with the last name NEMITZ engaged in such behavior, you would do exactly the same! (Promptly after calling me, of course)

Camp Fun Nemitz

The idea for camp fun Nemitz came last January when we signed Alexa up for her first year at New Life Camp. Emily and Owen have done overnight camp for the past several years and Alexa couldn't wait for her turn. Luckily, Alexa has two friends who also wanted to go to camp who happen to have brothers Ian's age.
The girls at camp:

On the first day we went to the Life and Science Museum in Durham. The new dinosaur trail had opened and we hadn't seen it yet. So, after dropping off Alexa, me, my dad, Ian and Isaac head to the museum. We got there at 10:00am and left at 4:00pm we really made a day of it! I couldn't post all of the pictures but it was a great time! Ian also learned he REALLY does not like grilled cheese.
Day 1



Day 2
The second day, we added another friend and decided to go bowling. Ian loves to bowl and it is something we don't do very often. The first picture is the ride into Raleigh in the car. We don't usually watch movies unless it is a long trip. This was a great treat. They were watching Droopy.


After bowling, we went to Burger King for lunch. They had a great time playing on the playground.

Day 3
We stayed at our house for day 3. We played Bingo (the old-timey one with the big ball), we made homemade pizza, and homemade playdough. They finished out the day with a swim. We named Isaac's pizza "Egg-head Fred."


Day 4
Day Four Camp fun Nemitz got moved to its satellite camp: The Campbells. They had a great time playing together and eating at "Christy's cafe."


Day 5
Our last and final day, we decided to go to the movies. We went to see Ice Age: The Dawn of the Dinosaurs. We thought it very fitting that we started our week with dinosaurs at the museum and finished our week with a dinosaur movie. It was actually better than I had expected.


Overall, it was a wonderful week. I cannot believe that my baby is going to be 7. It was the first time I have ever spent time with just him and his friends. I am sure next year he will opt for the cabin at New Life Camp but this is one camp year we will never forget!

Crazy Days

We have had a crazy couple of days. I woke up this morning to an alarm buzzing and me acting like a crazy person trying to remember where I was, what day it was, and what/where I was late for. Needless to say, it was not a pleasant way to start the day. Emily, Owen and Ryan are leaving Saturday morning to go to Texas with Open Door's TaeKwonDo ministry. They will be gone until next Sunday. Alexa has her first time a day camp this week and Ian is hosting "Camp fun Nemitz" at our house. In all of this, I decided we were going to get our pictures made. I am a true school teacher and have my kids "school" picture taken every year. (One year I missed getting them made and Upward pictures had to do. I was not pleased with myself.) Since it had been a couple of years since we had a full (not just the kids) family photo, I decided we were due. Everyone whined and complained but they managed to smile pretty anyway!

A letter

As I have been cleaning out, I have found where Emily has gotten her 10,000s of journals all over the place. It have been very cool and almost refreshing at going back and reading somethings I had written as I poured my heart out to My God. Some of it has been cool; however, some of it has been "man, I STILL have not learned this!" I found this letter this morning. I was doing a book study - the book is called Character Makeover. I only finished about half of the excellent book - who knows why I didn't complete it. Luckily, I went to my shelf, picked it up and remembered why I thought it such an excellent book. Maybe next year I will be blogging about the second half. :) Anyway, this is a prayer in the beginning of the book. It moved me so much that I changed some of the words and wrote the whole thing out as a letter in the beginning of my "Character makeover" journal. It is dated 2/7/2008.
The reason I am sharing it is because I went to bed with a troubled heart, burdened over many things. I fell asleep praying for the Lord to let my today finally become my tomorrow. Meaning there were many things I would like to do / to change and I have been finding myself saying "tomorrow" then days, weeks, months would pass and "tomorrow" still hadn't happened. This letter, is still my prayer, I just forgot that it was.

Dear Lord,
I am embarking upon holy work to be the best I can be for You. I have picked up this book about making over my character because at my deepest core, I want to please You. You, Lord, are the architect of my life, and You have been building something beautiful in my since before I was born. I want to join You in Your work for my life. I want you to prepare my heart, pray for a change, and practice the discipline of a woman of character.
I have a dream of doing something for You, but I am being held back by strongholds that the enemy is using to discourage and defeat me. Lord, show me who You really are and who I am through the truth of Your word and the power of Your Holy Spirit, so that I may overcome those persistent strongholds.
I pray for your protection to surround me as I start on this challenging renovation. Bring me encouragement along the way at just the moment when obstacles or self-condemnation threaten to derail my efforts. Show me which character quality You want me to start with, transform my prayer life, and help me persist to the end. I claim your blessings upon my collaboration with You to become that humble, confident, courageous, self-controlled, patient, content, generous, perservering woman You created me to be. May the time and energy I devote to developing my charactet cause You to use me all the more powerfully for Your kingdom-building purposes which will reap eternal rewards for me and those You want me to serve.
In the Mighty name of Jesus, I pray, amen.

Perfectionism VS Perseverance

James 1:4 "But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." This verse suggests that perseverance is the catalyst for perfection. The word for mature is also translated "perfect", but it means the completion of a task or the end of a goal rather than moral or physical perfection. It is no secret that I would like to be perfect. However, as I have gotten older, that goal of perfect has seemed more and more unobtainable. It seems the harder I struggle for control, the more complicated things have become. I have recently noticed an alarming trend in my behavior. If I do an activity or organize an event well, I do it for a few years and quit. If I do an activity or organize an event and it isn't lining up well or the outcome doesn't look favorable, I quit. I used to rise to a challenge ready to just do my best. Now, I quit. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I cannot quit being a wife, mother, teacher, daughter, friend. Trust me, there have been times I have wanted to try. Yet, according to James 1:4 I can achieve perfection through perseverance. I guess it is like I tell Emily all the time about challenges she faces "If it were easy - anyone could do it!" I guess I need to start following my own advice!

What I am learning from Peter

The past couple of weeks - I have been surrounded by Peter's lesson of walking on water. Matthew 14: 24-33 " But the boat was now in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves, for the wind was contrary. Now in the 4th watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out for fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them saying, "Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid," And Peter answered Him and said, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water." So He said, "Come." And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, "Lord, save me!" And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, "Truly You are the Son of God." I was teaching this lesson this past week at VBS to five year olds. I had a raft for the boat, paper plates for the wind, blue streamers for waves and of course a Peter, Jesus, and disciples. After concluding the lesson, one of the boys stated "If he (Peter) was going to be scared, he shouldn't have ASKED to get out of the boat!" I have been thinking about this all week. I am constantly on Emily for letting her fears stop her from doing the things she really wants to do. I am asking her to get out of the boat, even though she is afraid. The thing about getting out of the boat is that you have to stay focused on Christ or you sink. It is a gamble, it is a risk. Yet, if I am called out of the boat - I won't fail. I learned a hard lesson several years ago that Christ equips you for the tasks He calls you to. However, sometimes we take that 'equipment' and use it other places or in other ministries than it was intended; leaving us to believe we were left stranded in the middle of the lake - sinking. Tonight, I went to a man's funeral that has attended Faith for a very long time. It was a beautiful service and people were giving testimony to how his life had impacted or affected theirs in some way. Listening and watching the service I was again reminded of Peter and the boat. People like Ty do not have that sort of testimony by staying in the boat; by not taking a risk and investing in the people around him. Not only was Peter changed, but the other disciples as well said "Truly you are the Son of God." There are so many ways/times that I have asked to walk on the water and I feel at other times I have been commanded to walk on the water. It is no secret that I fear failure. However, I am slowly trying to come to the realization that sometimes the failure I feel is nothing more than stubbornness in my refusal to get out of the boat and take a risk. The way I see it, there are two options 1 - be Peter and get out of the boat - keeping my eyes focused on Christ or
2- sit and wish I had been the one brave enough to take a chance.

Memorial Day Fun

I had an awesome Memorial Day. On Thursday, I went to the NCHE Homeschool convention. I have gone every year, except one, during the past 11 years of homeschooling. Usually, Ryan and I go together. This year we decided we were not going to go at all. However, a few weeks before, I started getting cold-feet about missing the conference, especially the bookfair. And my mother got upset when she found out we weren't going - it is her grandmother tradition to keep the kids. So, we decided I would go to the bookfair on Thursday, Ryan would pick me up on Friday and we would go somewhere restful for the rest of the weekend. (The homeschool conference is NOT restful. I leave either on cloud nine that this is a wonderful life I have or looking for the nearest bridge to end my misery.) Anyway, I rode down with my friend, Kristi. We gabbered so much she missed the exit. We went to the bookfair upon arrival and I was done by nightfall. We stayed with two other friends, one friend's mother and one friend's daughter. Needless to say, we had a packed house. It was like one big sleepover. Surprisingly, it was a lot of fun. I am just not a slumber party kind of girl. I hadn't really spent much time with these friends lately and it was great spending time with them and reminising about times past. Then, on Friday, Ryan came to pick me up. Due to the awful B word (budget) we decided we really needed to just come back home. I was a little disappointed because I really wanted Ryan all to myself and I knew I would never get that at home. We wandered around, taking our time getting home. He started talking about his plans for Saturday: cut grass, clean pool, etc. I couldn't believe it - that is usually me! So, I say: "let's go camping." I wish I had a picture of Ryan's face - mouth nearly hitting the floor. Not only am I not a slumber party kind of girl, I am not a camping kind of girl either. Let me rephrase that - I am not a camping kind of mother. In our early days, we used to go camping. However, somewhere along the way (whiny kids, a tent full of dirt, bugs, etc) it sort of lost its appeal. So, we came home blew the dust off our gear and went to Falls Lake about 15 miles from home. On Saturday, we went to Beaver Dam, laid out in the sun and ignored all the whining, screams, etc and didn't look up once when we heard "mommy, daddy". Then, we went out to dinner and back to the campsite. We built a fire, played cards, and talked. It was quite blissful. We were a "normal" couple out camping. I felt like we were twenty again, well, almost. Sunday we got up, broke camp and headed down to pick up the kids. On Monday, we had a cookout with my dad's family. It was a great weekend. The grass, the pool, the television, the phone all waited until Tuesday. It was a great weekend, did I say that already? :)